n eight-year-old boy in central Newfoundland has killed a dog with a barbecue fork. Neighbours complain that the boy has created other trouble in the area: from throwing rocks at other children to ripping up flower beds.
We shake our head at the monster this little boy must be: obviously a psychopath in the making.
Actually, I contend he's perfectly normal. Especially if you go by the eight- and nine-year olds I run into every day in my neighbourhood.
Ripping up flower beds? Yes. Ours has been ripped up by culprits other than cats, twice. Throwing rocks? We had to visit two separate houses last year to speak to parents of children, ages seven to nine, who had thrown rocks at our four-year-old son. Killing animals? Pretty close. I've heard stories of kids in this neighbourhood throwing small puppies under cars. Just this evening a group of children congregated in our backyard and next thing we know our pet rabbit, who had been in an outdoor cage enjoying some dandelions, fresh air and sun, was bleeding.
I've called these children monsters - and worse. But they're not. They're typical kids with crappy parents. I won't mince words. If you don't know where your seven- or eight-year-old is for the majority of the day, then you are a crappy parent.
If your child has not been taught - especially by the age of nine - not to destroy other people's property, then you're a crappy parent. You know that Jeff Foxworthy routine, "You Might Be A Redneck?" Well, here are some hints to discover if you're a crappy parent:
- If your neighbours complain to you about your child's behaviour and you jump to your child's defense or blame another child: you might be a crappy parent.
- If your children are under the age of 10 and are regularly left home alone and unsupervised, you might be a crappy parent.
- If I have to give your seven-year-old a coat to wear in the middle of winter when he's been locked out of the house, you might be a crappy parent.
- If I have to call the police thinking you must have called them yourself by now to report a missing child after your three-year-old has been at my house for over an hour - and I have no idea who he is or where he lives and he can't tell me - you might be a crappy parent.
- If your kids steal bikes, scooters and toys from other children's yards, you might be a crappy parent.
- If your children congregate on the street and don't give way to oncoming traffic, raising their middle finger or yelling at drivers that beep their horns at them, you might be a crappy parent.
Anyone can lose their patience and yell at - or even hit - their child once without being a truly crappy parent.
A good parent can chose to formula feed instead of breastfeed. Some great parents practise attachment parenting and so do some not-so-great parents. Co-sleeping, cloth or disposable, too much TV are all issues that don't matter a huge amount in the long run.
Too often we judge parenting and divide into camps based on single moments or single issues. But it takes callous, ongoing disregard for supervising and teaching your child respect for others and how to behave in public to earn you the crappy parent award in my books.
It has nothing to do with education. I see many parents with less than high school education that do a wonderful job raising their children and are great neighbours. It has nothing to do with income level. My husband and I struggle financially, and are the true classification of the working poor, but our children still have coats on in the winter, even if we did buy them at the thrift store. It has nothing to do with location.
There are plenty of crappy parents in my neighbourhood, but I'm sure Townsite is equally as infested.
It has to do with a lack of respect: for yourself, for your children and for your neighbours. If your eight-year-old is wandering the neighbourhood pulling up flowers and throwing rocks, don't act surprised if he goes on to kill a small animal. And don't say "there's nothing I can do with him."
There is. You can supervise him.
