Always room for more

Most mothers agree the memories of sleepless nights fade away the moment their little one hands them a crayon-signed card on Mothers Day. But what about when the children arent yours and theyre only in your home for a few days, weeks or months?



For many foster moms, the maternal day in May could pass without so much as a macaroni necklace. But most find fostering has other payoffs.



Its a sense of doing something for society, for our community, for the world we live in, said foster mom Liane Niles from her home in Toronto.



Its huge . . . You see these kids coming in broken, battered. I cant imagine that there is a greater sense of accomplishment when you see some of these kids smile or give you a hug or even get better, physically.



Niles and her husband have five kids of their own, but have been acting as foster parents to kids in southern Ontario for 19 years. Both she and her husband had a background in child welfare.



When they began their own family, Niles thought being a foster mom would be a great way to stay involved with the Childrens Aid Society while being able to stay home and look after her own children.



Foster parents get a per diem allowance, which varies from province to province, to help cover the cost of room and board for the kids.



Katherine Jones is the executive director of the Alberta Foster Parents Association.



She said anyone wanting to be a foster parent must go through a lot of hoops courses, background checks and a home inspection before a child is released into their care.



It is quite a lengthy process to become a foster parent but in the long run it pays off well, she said from her office in Edmonton. You feel like youre contributing something back to society.



In Toronto, Niles and her husband specialize in fostering babies and are currently caring for two baby boys.



But the family has also taken on a more challenging foster role: they do emergency night duty. That means they provide food and shelter to kids that come into the system after hours, when the Childrens Aid Society is closed.



Usually they come out of very traumatic situations like where parents have been murdered, she said.



Niles said her kids are all on side. They often sleep right through the ordeal of police banging on the door in the middle of the night and are happy to help out during the day when they can.



Mothers Day at the Niles household usually involves her kids making an elaborate breakfast and then a church ceremony where her husband, a United Church minister, does a baptismal service.



Still, there are no cards from any of the children and teens she mothered for a few crucial months when they were babies.



Jones doesnt have the same experience.



In addition to running the Alberta association, she has been a foster mom for years and finds she is inundated with tokens of affection, visits and phone calls come Mothers Day.



Always wanting a big family, Jones became a foster mom as she and her husband only had one daughter.



Now every holiday and birthday her home is filled with children or visits, calls and cards from those who have grown up.



I get Mothers Day gifts from my younger ones that make them in school, or homemade cards, she said, noting that many of her foster kids stay on until they are ready to move out and make it on their own.



Thats payback.