Agnes Bishop lost a son whom she says was compelled to do his part, and now she has found a way to do hers.
Sgt. Craig Gillam died in Afghanistan in October 2006, one of two Royal Canadian Dragoons killed during an ambush at an observation station just west of Kandahar City.
It has been a long and troublesome two and a half years for Bishop and her extended family. They buried the family man in his hometown of South Branch with full military honours allowing the public insight into the life and death of someone they regarded as a hero.
They travelled to Ottawa, where the soldier credited with fighting off insurgents and saving fellow soldiers' lives received a posthumous Mention in Dispatches - an award which recognizes "valiant conduct, devotion to duty or other distinguished service in combat or near-combat conditions." The family has attended annual commemorative ceremonies, such as Remembrance Day, remembering the father, son, husband, and brother they lost.
Friday, Bishop received "The Travelling Flag" - a Canadian flag which bears the names of the fallen soldiers in Afghanistan from this country. Angela MacIsaac, whose husband works for the Canadian Forces, created the flag in 2008 and took it to repatriation ceremonies. Overwhelmed personally by what the flag signified for her, she wanted to share it with others across the country. Now, it travels throughout Canada to supporters and families of the deployed, injured and those who gave the ultimate sacrifice.
"My son was one of the fallen soldiers whose names are on the flag," Bishop said.
"Something like that, to me, is touching. That some people remember all the soldiers, especially the fallen, and one of them was your own."
MacIsaac emailed Bishop to ask if she was interested in receiving the flag for a week.
There was never any doubt.
"It is a real honour to have this for a week," she said. "I think it will bring me peace and it will be uplifting, especially where my son was involved, but also for all the other troops and friends we know that have gone over there."
The flag is accompanied by a journal and an opportunity for each individual holder to honour the fallen in their own way. Bishop is still not sure what she will write.
"There's a lot of things I could put on there, but I have to narrow it down," she said. "I know how I feel, but it is getting it into words. A lot of times the words are not so easy to come by."
The flag was showcased at the Royal Canadian Legion in Corner Brook Friday. Bishop has made arrangements to take it to the local military recruiting centre and is hoping to get it into some local schools - especially the high school in South Branch.
She hopes it will be an inspiration to people who see it.
"I just hope people support our troops and support the families that have lost people over there," she said. "It's not only those fallen soldiers, but my heart goes out to people who come back injured. Those men and women are coming back hurt and they have to live with all this, and the suffering that goes along with it."
Bishop has learned to deal with the death of her son, not that it has gotten any easier, but talking about it now brings some relief. While she supports the troops overseas, she has a difficult time hearing about the tragedies - saying it takes her right back to the day she found out her son was killed.
"You don't get over losing a child, you cope with it," she said. "If you see anything that drags you down, you have to get away from it. When the news gets depressing, I turn off the TV or go to another room, get out my sewing machine.
"You just have to look forward. Time is not going to take away the memories, it's not going to take away the pain. Nothing does."
Sgt. Gillam also left behind a family of his own. Bishop said his widow Maureen and teenage children Stephen and Gale, 19 and 17, are also coping. She said it has been particular hard for the children.
"They lost their father at the worst time of their lives, teenagers," she said. "It's hard on them. Eventually they will cope, but it is going to take a lot - more so than the rest of us."
MacIsaac hopes to keep the flag travelling around the country until every Canadian soldier returns from Afghanistan. Bishop said she is pleased to hear government will be pulling the troops from the war-torn country in 2011.
"I think they should come back," she said. "They have been over there since 2002 and that will be 2011, that is a big contribution in my mind. I don't know if they have made any progress over there or not, but I think our men and women in Canada are starting to get worn down by this time."
She is unsure whether the years in Afghanistan will have been worthwhile or if her son's ultimate sacrifice was for the greater good. However, she has come to peace with the decision he made.
"Craig did what he wanted to do," she said. "He had a choice and he made that choice. I respect that and I support it ... No matter how hard it is afterwards, you look back and know this is what he wanted to do. He spent all his life helping other people, so that was what he was supposed to do."
