The several poker chip-sized medallions in his possession serve as reminders.
Kept in a box, they are physical manifestations of the addiction that has gripped his life since he was a teenager. They are starts and stops. Grasping and letting go.
They’re a mixture of one-, two- and five-year Alcoholics Anonymous coins and they represent all of the time Keith has started and restarted with the program in the last three decades years.
His relationship – for lack of a better term – starts as a teenager in Corner Brook. Like most of us that age, Keith was still finding himself.
Like most of us at that age, Keith — not his real name — yearned to find a group of people that he fit in with and could befriend.
That’s where the alcohol comes in for the first time. He’d go to parties, hang out with people and see that they were having a few sips of something.
He joined in and soon saw things starting to change.
The alcohol took him from being the guy at the back of the room to the guy who was in the middle of everything. A couple of drinks made him the band leader.
“I don’t know if I loved it, but I loved what it did to me … especially when I was talking to girls,” he said. “It helped ease the pressure.”
The lighter drinking in his teens turned into binge drinking in his mid-20s. That turned into daily drinks further into adulthood.
His friends would tell him what a time he was or ask him if he remembered that thing he said at the bar?
Keith never did remember, but sometimes he reveled in what he was being told he did.
Every time it started to chip away at his life at home.
He got tired of being the life of the party when he was out and alienating the ones he loved at home.
“I had my friends at the clubs, but my enemies were at home,” he said solemnly. “Some days I’d only have a few beers and other days I’d get on it and be gone for two days.”
He never had a life-altering event that caused him to seek help. There was no loss of his job or a drunk driving conviction to force him into the program.
Keith got tired of waking up in the morning and not being able to remember the night before.
It was shortly after one of his binges that he started the Alcoholics Anonymous program the first time.
It was never an easy battle for him. One-year anniversaries came and went as Keith kept listening to the proverbial devil on his shoulder.
A drink wasn’t going to hurt him, he’d say. He’d reason with himself that he could handle a couple of beer on a Wednesday evening after a long day.
Maybe it was a glass of wine at dinner, as we all often do. Surely, that wouldn’t cause any trouble he say to himself as one part of his mind reasoned with another.
That was 30 years ago and he’s only just now figuring it all out.
Such is the nature of an alcoholic and it was Keith’s way for the better part of 20 years. It's only been during the last 10 that he’s really paid attention to the 12 steps and seems to be on the other side of his addiction.
He’s lost two families to the disease. Only now, 30 years into the fight and a decade continuously clean, is Keith starting to rebuild those bridges.
They aren’t back, the relationships will never get to where they were, but he’s trying.
***
This weekend Corner Brook is hosting the Area 82-District 12 Nova Scotia and Newfoundland and Labrador Assembly and Round up. It is a conference that will bring 150 delegates together to discuss sobriety and how they meet its challenges every day.
The event is stretched across three days, starting Friday and ending Sunday afternoon. It sees the part Al-Anon Family Groups and the All Atlantic Conference for Young People in AA group.
This year’s goal is to get more young people into the program.
The hope is a public meeting on Sunday at 1:30 p.m. will draw some younger people out to speak on their problems with substance abuse.
It is a worthy goal to strive for if we’re being honest with ourselves.
Social drinking is a part of Newfoundland’s fabric. A drop of Lamb's or swallie of Black Horse is as part of this province as the Newfoundland dog and the recreational food fishery.
That extends to the youth of this province. Pay attention and you’ll see it.
When you do look closely, you will see high school kids who need a drink to get through the day or Grade 9 students who plan a week of festivities — many of the them involving alcohol — to celebrate heading to high school the next fall.
They are habits that may lead to abuse problems somewhere down the line.
Binge drinking every weekend is only start of things and young people are starting earlier than ever.
I’ve seen it and chances are you’ve seen it as well.
It isn’t too late though to offer a helping hand.
